Just Another Reason I Heart SVU

CNN is now tracking breaking news headlines that Law & Order: SVU addressed weeks ago.

Actual Overheard in New York

Look, the quote I submitted made it onto Overheard.

Overheard in Mexico

Tourist Man: So, what's the Mexican currency?
Tourist Woman: The peso.
Tourist Man: How much is it worth?
Tourist Woman: 10 is like 1 American dollar.
Tourist Man: Why don't they just use the Euro?

Current Events

Don't you just miss this so much today?

Happy Holidays

Love, Sarah Silverman.

Law Jokes Are For Losers

I actually just used the sentence "I have the mens rea to be convicted of attempted studying."

I said that.

To another person.

Lack of normal social interaction is really taking its toll. It is most unfortunate.

Eugene Mirman is Funnier Than You

I know that I have mentioned this, but it's funny enough to mention repeatedly. Particularly if you need a study break (or just a reason not to start studying). I want Eugene Mirman to be my new best friend.


Don't forget to watch the video.

And I Like Scary Movies

Considering the fact that I am STILL having nightmares about the preview (PREVIEW!) of Hostel, finals are not seeming quite as scary these days.

I can't believe I just let myself think about it again. I think I need to go throw up.

Super-Productive Snow Day

Due to approximately 3 inches of snow on the ground (or so I have heard, it's hard tell considering I have yet to leave my building or open my blinds today), school was graciously canceled this morning. As I had already woken up and gotten "dressed" (do sweatpants qualify as clothing if they are clean?), I prepared myself to have a super-productive Day O' Studying, free of such bothersome impediments to learning as "going to class" and "attending a review session."

Here instead, in no apparent order, is my list of Accomplishments thus far:

• ate breakfast
• watched last night's episode of The "It's the Third Season and Thus We Are Currently Devoid of Any Good Ideas so Summer is Now Smart but Every Character is Still Annoying and Yet We Know You'll Watch It Anyway" O.C.
• sat down to get work done
• added one sentence to torts outline
• checked email 237 times
• added another sentence to torts outline
• went to the gym
• did laundry
• took a shower
• added three sentences to torts outline
• ate lunch
• complained that I had done nothing all day
• tried to make plans to see a movie later
• looked over what I had added to my torts outline
• contemplated putting laundry away
• ordered groceries online
• contemplated doing more work
• wrote this instead

On the plus side, at least I still haven't gotten so stressed and panicky that I've cried about it.

Struggling for Sanity

I know I have no right to complain because I am clearly guilty as well, but what's up with lack of updates of my favorite law student blogs as of late? What, are you guys studying for finals or something? Cause honestly, it's time to get over that whole thing and focus on what's really important: keeping the rest of us entertained. It's the only thing that keeps me from thinking about how stressed out I would be if I had half a brain (well, one of the only things, the other being IGNORING EVERY SINGLE OTHER LAW STUDENT THAT EXISTS).

I find it excessively difficult to get the most out of studying when I can't even procrastinate properly. Seriously. I can't possibly sit down and focus until I've read of the hilariously relatable misery of my peers. And as we rapidly approach the peak of the Season O' Anxiety, Fear and Despair, it would clearly behoove me to be getting the most out of my procrastinating. Uh, er, studying.

Good thing I always have thesuperficial and gofugyourself to keep me sane.

Lesson of the Day

I think the best way to avoid stress, nervous breakdowns and/or the general desire to gouge my eyes out with my contracts book is to pretend that the Impending Doom (i.e. finals) is neither impending nor doom. My fool-proof study plan also helps.

I have a feeling this is TOTALLY going to help my GPA.

Fool-Proof Study Tactics

As finals rapidly approach and the Ulcer you're developing becomes increasingly apparent and painful, it is important to use your study time as wisely as possible in order to maximize your chances of success. Fortunately, in law school, this does not entail interminable hours of making flash cards and memorizing class notes. Nope, in law school, success is relative.

Basically, regardless of how much we toil over outlines, obligatory Curve of Death requires that 80% of us will get B's, leaving room for only 10% with A's and sticking 10% with C's. Let's face it, no matter how meticulously you prepare, you pretty much have NO SHOT at getting an A. The best you can do is not get C's.

All efforts must be made to ensure that you are not among this unlucky 10%.
The most efficient way to do this is obvious: you must put all your energy into figuring out which 10 people in your section are probably dumber than you are.

This may or may not require elaborate color-coded spreadsheets, veiled interrogations and secret consultations with other people in your section.

Happy studying.

Best Law School TShirts, um, EVER

you can buy me one here.