I Might Drop Out of Law School & Take a Job Folding Shirts

Seriously, I don't think it's too late.

Back Cause This is AWESOME

Ok Go on TREADMILLS!

Suri Cruise?

I know this picture was not at all the point of Michelle Collins' post, and that her point was actually that even though Tom Cruise is crazy like a straw (you know, crazy straws), M:i:III was really good or something. I don't care, I'm not seeing it.

But come on, above picture of future projection of Suri Cruise? hiLARs.

Yeah. I Don't Like Her Either.

Nothing ruins a celebrity sighting quite like trying to gush to your mom about it, only to have her flatly respond, "Oh. I hate her."

Parting Words of Wisdom

To close our last class of the semester, one of our professors left us with some words of wisdom. She spoke about how difficult it is to get into our law school these days, and how confident she is that we will all be excellent attorneys. With that in mind, she discussed final exams, and how they really only measure our abilities to analyze a specific type of issue and do not necessarily indicate how capable we will be as legal professionals. She told us that the grading process, especially the mandatory curve, is disheartening, if not somewhat arbitrary and that we should not put too much emphasis on our exam results.

Contrast this with all year on-going advice from another professor*:

If you don't get all A's, you'll never get a job. It's ok if you don't get all A's, you just won't get on Law Review. Also, then you won't ever get a job. You don't really need to do anything important this summer. Of course, then you'll never get a job. If you haven't been studying for finals for at least the past 12 years of your life, you can't possibly get A's. You know what that means? NO JOB FOR YOU. If you use commercial outlines, you're stupid. Stupid people can't get jobs. If you make so much as a single ink smudge on your exam, points will immediately be deducted from your grade, in which case fire-breathing monkeys will come to your home, singe off your eyelashes, make prank calls from your phone, eat that last piece of pizza you were saving for lunch tomorrow, punch you in the stomach and hook up with your sister. Which, as I'm sure you've guessed, will lead to...NO JOB. Good luck on exams, guys.

*forgive me if I've forgotten and therefore slightly altered the content of his motivational speech

Addendum

Actually, it comes up 5th for "horribly funny."

It's 3rd for "horribly offensive."

You have no idea how proud my parents are.

How Flattering!

Apparently, i heart complaining comes up 5th in a Google search for "horribly offensive."

FANTABULOUS!

Is the Blog Coming Out of the Coma?

Probably not.

But anyway, I love Jack Black. Watch the bloopers after the speech.

Stolen Joke

Sorry to start the morning off with Sad News

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully atthe age of 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Shut up. You know it's funny.